Hello, my old friend

That is, if you can count seven posts as really being my old friend. More an acquaintance that I haven't taken the time to develop into a true friendship. But today, something happened. Something made me feel like writing in this blog which has been abandoned for two years!

This summer has made me reminisce about the past three years or so, but mainly the past two. A lot has changed, I for one have changed incredibly, and I'd like to think that this is mainly for the better. Sure I've done things which I would dearly love to alter, or simply just forget about. But I have grown up and I am more confident whilst still remaining a little naive about the world.

In just over a week I'll be starting my career. It sounds so serious, yet I'm struggling to believe that this is really "it". This is what I have been working towards for the past however many years in education. I chose the job I wanted, I applied, I got it. None of the struggle facing so many graduates today - I am fortunate, I am grateful, I am bewildered. I'm keen to make my mark on the world, keen to move on from education and keen to earn a real wage. I have just a week left of re-living my "lazy" student days (if you can call it that), but I am itching to get started. This summer has been slow, and I have been apprehensive, but to be honest I don't think I would have wanted to spend it any other way. For the past 8 weeks or so, I have been staying with my boyfriend, Pete, who has started his year out in industry. It has been tough, staying alone in the flat all day but really, if I were at home - I'd face much of the same, at least I have had the evenings and weekends to spend with him.

And so in just over a week, we will be long distance again. We have done this on and off the past couple of years, through uni vacations and such. But now, this is it. This is the real deal. So whilst I long for this week to be over so I can start my graduate life, I secretly will this week to last forever. But one can't live their life tugging at the realms of time; time moves forward and life, inevitably, must follow.

I convince myself that it "can't be that bad", taking on the mentality of Pete who seems to always think that everything will be ok. I want it to be ok. More than ok. But I'm sure my new job will keep me busy, studying to be an accountant with a Big4 firm. My evenings will be filled with study, and I'm keen to join a choir or even start dance classes. I'm going to make the most of what this new city has got to offer me, what my new job has got to offer me, and what life as a graduate has to offer me.

I am fortunate, I know that. But that doesn't make me any less nervous or apprehensive. This is the real world now. No more student loans, or student discounts. This is the start of council tax, income tax, national insurance! But most importantly, it's the start of real life. This is where things get serious, where I start to think about new curtain patterns or when I'm going to work on the garden. Or perhaps paying off debts and being a cog in the corporate machine. But it is more than that, I think this is the start of a new me. This is a new opportunity to discover myself and realise who I truly am. And I think I'm ready to find me now.